Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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