her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
