So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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