You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
