love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
