Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
