She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
