I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
