I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
