your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
