Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
