Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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