paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
thus making me awesome and them whores
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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