you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
