so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
