it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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