I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
