she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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