I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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