Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
should my penis look like a turkey
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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