you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
