Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize