i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
