I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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