The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
