called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
