3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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