Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
