I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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