I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize