I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
