can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
