In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
