So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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