I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
