there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
