I accidentally burped into my bong.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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