she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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