Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
