it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize