yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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