I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
