He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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