My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
