Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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