So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
