I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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