She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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