When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
