lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
