i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
