We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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