I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
