I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
