is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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