Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
