Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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