No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize