I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
