took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
