He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
