am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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